I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
