Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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