I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
