I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had to cum in my sink.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
