I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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