this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
