Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
