Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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