i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
