you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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