I look better un-naked...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
