Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
