Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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