After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
