end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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