Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize