O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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