We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize