his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
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