Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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