Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
