Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
