I think I am morally bankrupt
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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