I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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