okay pat passed out under dana's car
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize