too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
