so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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