im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
