why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
