Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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