I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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