I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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