dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
