So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
