if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
