I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Randomize
