I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
