We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
