just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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