Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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