Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
