the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
