Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
