O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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