He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
