Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
