I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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