Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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