Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize