My room smells like vodka and shame
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
