after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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