i permit you to call me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
