I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
