did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
