Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
