Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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