Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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