Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
