dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
