Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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