Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize