making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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