I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
