really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
