Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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