sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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