You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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