New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
