I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
