told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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