Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
