We got so high we made milksteak
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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