there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize