"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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