Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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