I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
